So everyone has been rattling my cage the last few weeks, getting their panties in a twist over these so-called “significant” industry moves, key employees of mine who have decided that they finally are grown up enough to stop sucking papa’s teat, and move on to bigger and better things. Amongst the most recent departures, as most Techcrunch wannabe Indian blogs have already publicized, were Joy and Zaki.
Joy has been anything but the last few months. Yeah Joy, we’re Nasdaq listed, fucking get over it and buck up to the pressure! Mommy is not going to keep us SarbOx compliant, you crybaby bastard! If it was for someone even slightly more competent than a mentally retarded monkey, we might have gotten the price we wanted from Google or Yahoo! Whew. Sorry there, underlings, it’s going to be a real pain in the neck to get another CFO to file our 10Ks and Qs, keep us SarbOx compliant, and make sure we don’t get delisted once our stock starts eating shit. Nothing but love for ya’, Joy. Good luck, fuck face.
On to Zak. People are really making too big a deal of Z’s departure. Yes, Z has been there pretty much from the beginning of the dawn of Internet in India, i.e. the launch of Rediff. He is the brains behind some of our best products, including MoneyWiz. Now he’ll be off to Web 18, trying to fix what I call the la caca mas grande, or in English, the biggest piece of Internet feces ever excreted in the history of mankind. Yes, you guessed it underlings – in.com. More on that later, but I just gotta ask Surya and the boys – what the fuck is in.com!? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when I turned down the acquisition offer, but you didn’t have to get offended and build this heap of turd. Wish you guys weren’t so close to my office, I can actually smell the crap from where I sit.
Back to Zak. Is Zak’s departure a big deal? Perhaps, but you all must realize that Rediff is now bigger than Zak, or Joy, or any one person. Rediff is I, and I am Rediff, and that’s all you need to fucking know. Zak, I’ll miss ya’ pal. You were and still are a stud, and while I shudder thinking of how many brain cells you will kill on a daily basis dealing with some of the most vapid, imbecilic, bovine morons on the face of this planet….sorry, I was going to follow that up with an “at least you…”; but I can’t think of anything positive. Oh well, guess you’re fucked! Don’t let the door hit your fat ass on the way out!